Holiday~

haaaa....

finally gt holiday~ 2days...

felt lik a kid again..haha

hate working la..feel so old..

workin wit ppl who r older..wearin formal clothes..

hmmm...

envyin college students nw..haha

miss watchin movies~ hangin out~ playin games~

buyin clothes~ goin sumwhere for holiday~ many many o

ohh well..at least nw can really save loads of $$$

happy~

these days..there's nt much on my mind..

dowan to think too much..so nw really feel free~

no obligations...

wateva happens oso jz tolerate la~

forgive and forget~

basically more to forget..haha

it feels great jz to be me..who i really am..

n nt think abt other things..

like family..friends..love..

tryin my best to be who i am..and stay positive~ Yeahhhh~!!!

++++++

Hmm~

yo~
din update for awhile d..
hahaha..kinda busy lately
well..nw i'm in a new dept..sales..
with elene..
basically..we do nth everyday for 9hours..
the most we do is photostat things..
WOW! haizz
dunno la..every1 seems so busy and aksi..
bt then i found out that
sales and pr is totally diff..
n i'm suppose to be in PR
while elene is in sales..
haha..wondering shud i change..
bt then elene alone..handling all of them..
our job nt jz photostating la..gt send things oso
gt any event or function a..they will send out a memorandum
then we hav to go get signatures of the ppl involve
in diff dept..
okay oso la..so shud i change? PR seems diff..
gt own office..n the pr person is lik never in the office..haha
gt own com sumore..
hmmm.....
i oso found out my major weakness..
i have a tendency to tell ppl how to behave..
advise them on how 2 act..weird rite?
i mean ppl are diff..bt y i want them to act a certain way?
hate this abt me..
gotta stop thinking..n tellin ppl wad to do
ishhh~!!!
other than that everythings jz great..
savin lotsa cash..din spend much..
visit lone pine staff today
so fun~ hehe
n my big bro came back from KL
okay la~ nth much oso
till next time~

Signin Off~

anticipating~

haha..can't wait till off day ler..
so tired of waking up and working
nt enuff sleep and work tht time nt enuff energy~
pheww..today my team did abt 16 rooms..
bt at least 3 ppl so nt tht suffering..
ohh yea~ this weekend my parents are goin to KL
for my brother's convocation..n my sis will b back on thursday
hehe..imagine.weekend without parental supervision..
wonder wanna do wad~
cook? go out? hmm..
loads of options...
lately i've been feeling kinda leveled..
lik nth good or bad~ in between
havin strange dreams..dream abt working~
lol. work d nt enuff a..still wanna dream abt it?
shit~
after training..gt 3 more months to play~ coz need take moral class..
stupid~ wonder what shud i do~ part time job?
ohh well..lately nth much to think abt~ haha
too free~
k la gtg~ zz time

Signin Off~

Better....

Hmm..where shud i start?
My sis alrd holiday nw n she went to sungai petani to teman my aunty~
ohh ya..she gt her laptop d..bt nw i'm usin it~ keke
so no need go to "that room" anymore..
And over the weekend..things seem to be going better..
Nw no more silent war~ everything back to the way it once was..
went out with my parents to Queensbay on sat nite
then..they were so nice..offer to buy cake for me..cookies..lol
keep askin if i wan anot..
then ate dinner there and wanted to go home then my dad
lost the ticket~ SHIT! we were stuck there dunno wad to do..where to go..
went to the secrity office and paid RM30..so swtt
bt i gt to drive back~ yeh~
As for work~ everything is okay i guess..
jz that more work to do coz the previous trainees alrd change dept d..
so oni left lik 5 of us..today me n one of the aunty cleaned 15 rooms~
tiring lo~ bt wad to do~ takkan let her do herself meh~
dunno la..lately many staff keep taking MC or havin off days or afternoon shift
gai lo..nt enuff ppl~
then soon..another friend, May also going d..
dunno how lo~ she's funny..gonna miss her lots..
owiz knw hw to make ppl laugh~
haha..
The days seem to be getting better..
hope it stays that way~
____________________________________________________________

Letting go was easier than i thought
now everyday is a mystery
living without assumptions
and expectations from ppl
I will do my part
and hope that God does His

Silence

These few days have been kinda quiet.
Cold war wit my parents? lol
dunno la..sumhow my trust for them is lik gone~
need time to heal..
cant bliv we fought over that "thing"
hate IT! u shud knw who la..
anyway work is great..getting use to it d..
kinda fun oso..haha..
bt le hor..some of the other trainees changing dept d
n jz left lik 4 of us..wonder how lo~
work lik crazy?
sumhow these few days really lazy wake up lo
jz wanna sleep longer..haha..
cant get up~ n when i do need to rush d..
shit~
________________________________________

it's better to let go of sumthin
that was nt meant to be urs
holding on to it will oni hurt
better set oneself free
by learnin to forget
and move on
oni fate can change everythin
n when the time is right
all our wishes will b granted
its worth the wait
Hopefully~

Stupid argument~

Today, everything was goin well until dinner time....
Hmm..how to say a..
well it all started when my sis told me sumthin..
she told me that my parents discussed about making a will? and my dad said he wanted
to leave the house to my big bro but then my sis said my mom wanted to giv it to
my 2nd bro coz he is more trustworthy~
then..i gt nth as usual la~ so jokingly i go kacao them lo~
say y din leave me anything..n such..din care for me
then started argueing about many things..from my 2nd bro's behavior
to how much they really care about me..
my mom said she treats every1 equally..but thats not true..
coz laz time i rmb..when we stayed up late sure kena marah..sumtimes kena rotan oso
bt my 2nd bro can stay up until 8am..so WTF rite..
then nw me n my sis moved to the back room coz we needed some sleep..cant stand him
n it was my parents who suggested that we move there coz we kept complaining
bt nw they wanna move him there..n buy him a laptop? zz jz when my sis wanted one
then sumhow i cant stand tht he is nt doing anything for 3 MONTHS!!
thats rite~ 3months of doing absolutely nth~ so i suggested to them
that he get a job..n they kept siding him..like sayin his holiday wad let him enjoy la
SHIT~ i even suggested that he worked for my dad coz u knw la..law course and lawyer firm
sounds logical rite..bt then my dad said he dunno hw 2 do anythin~ swttt
teach la~ really incosiderable..
then they even said that i'm after the house n car..ya i wanted the honda city~
bt my dad plans on givin it to my big bro coz he is the oldest..never consider bout me 1
always care bout the two oldest~
anyway..my mom thinks i'm after her $$$! siao 1
who needs ur cash~ sot..i can make my own..
argue argue until really beh tahan~
i'm so glad that tht person is nt my son if nt long time disown d lo
they jz keep siding him..n dowan look from general point of view..
and the thing is he doesn't even respect my parents..
my parents owiz giv in to him coz they are tired of hearing him askin lots of questions
from chores to food..ya food~ apparently he doesn't lik rice..n one time he
scolded my mom about buyin rice for him~ n he scolded as if my mom is a maid..
really hate him~
n my parents are somehow i can feel la..that they treat him so well coz they seem to have
this thinkin that he will be the one who will provide them a living..when their old..
lik he will owiz be there for them or sumthin..
they wanna rely on him..but spoiling him wont get anywhere..
u think he will care bout u guys meh~
come on~ wake up~ he cant even change a light bulb
somehow me n my sis owiz giv in~ we really cant take it.
they jz keep siding him n ask us to do everything..
rite nw..really feel lik going singapore work d..
they are so pushing it..
wad kind of authority figures lai~ giv in to him for wad..
ur the parents~!! haihhh
really dun understand..they are so illogical.. really giv up la
wateva la..gonna get my diploma n get the hell out..
bt i will still care for them..n nt tht "thing"

At a lost~

Hmm..
a few days back..i felt kinda vulnerable
dunno y..jz felt lik i needed to rely on sum1..
needed sum1 to b there for me..
need sum care..
i hate feeling lik tht..coz it shows how useless i can b..
for some reason i never thought of relyin on ppl..
coz most of the time i can handle certain events..
n b capable..
it was jz an emo kinda day..
dunno if any1 felt lik tht too..
anyway..i will try my best nt to rely on ppl..
to do things on my own..
to be there for my family n friends..
i aint useless n i dun wanna be vulnerable..
i jz knw i can be stronger..
sumhow felt kinda confused..
its lik there's two sides in my head..one side sayin jz giv up..n say u can't do it
bt the other side is sayin..pick urself up n get going..no point waiting..move forward
ohh well..nw i feel much better..kinda wish there's a medication for when i'm down..
anti-depression medicine? haha
hmm..work has been great..time really fly fast~
n i got to knw more ppl d..feel more comfortable
compared to the first two days..scared n dunno any1 n dunno wad to do
everyday doin the same thing..dunno if this is my future goal anot oso..
havin second thoughts..bt since i've alrd chosen this path..no point turning back
move forward~
____________________________
____________________________

another thing i wanna say~
lately my parents are plannin to move house..
well coz the cost of livin kinda high..n we all need our own space..
espcially me n my sis..away frm my bro..
bt my mom is such a perfectionist..everything has to be perfect..
the location, the design, the interior, the afternoon sun ~
haihhh..its been lik half a year d..n we're still stuck here..
at 1st was kinda excited..bt nw..alrd giv up on the idea..
hope to move soon..bt dun think will b so faz
o another thing..me n my sis moved to the extra room so we dun hav to deal
with tht *animal*
we jz go there sleep..coz really cant stand every nite wakin up in the middle of the nite
coz of the light and oso the *clickin* of the mouse..
its been great..every nite can sleep..pimples oso vanish d...
wonderful~ bt com still in his room haihhh!!!
need my own room~ mom n dad faster move house!!!
hahaha...okay
nitex~

Signin Off~