Happy^^

Feel so happy these days~
no longer feel lik my previous post..
haha..mayb coz CNY is finally here~
yippy!!
my big bro is comin bek..
no moral classes~
hmm..
ang pao! haha..many many things
excited!!
Well with that..i hope everyone enjoys their Chinese New Year...
Nitex

Intense complexity

3 words that conclude my day

-lost
-uncontrollable
-different

practically felt out of place this weekend..
mind has been thinkin obsessively..
events that are out of my control..
things sure have been different ...

hmm..
i dun feel lik myself lately..strange..
feel so lost..lik i dun belong..
lack of confidence...

weird thoughts keep consuming me
negative thoughts which i can't control
mixed feelings which make it uncertain

things are so different frm before
it used to be so simple..fun..
bt nw its so complicated..a mess

time really changes everything..
i sure wish things were the way they were before..
tryin to stay positive..
enjoy my youth while i still can..
being there for the ppl i care about..my family n friends
hey~ can't say i din try..coz i have..
the rest lies in fate..whether things will improve frm now on..
or continue to go off course..
but it sure has opened my eyes to other things i havent realize before..
oni time can tell...

Satisfied~

Dunno wads up today..jz feel kinda satisfied..
haha..u knw the feelin as though u jz ate ur heart out at a buffet..haha
anyways..lately me n one of my good friends, wan hoe..
hav been searchin for a part time job..to kill time..not for cash
hahha..but no luck~ its either full~ or require some qualifications..
then we end up at parkson~!! hehe..
one of my friend works there..i knw her through friendster..
n they lik recommend us to work..
at a brand called durban~ lolx
well..i was kinda confused n had mixed feelings about it..
then wan hoe was at another brand bt nearby oso la..
n the guy said he will giv him a call..if they need la
n my case is they need a person until CNY oni..
hmm..then wan hoe decided to leave it to fate..
if the guy called him then we work if he din then we dun need to work~
hehe..n i guess today we decided nt to work d..coz no call
n its okay oso la..we're nt desperate for a job..
so for those people who keep stealing the vacancies..i aint workin no more!!
go ahead~!! hahaha..
it feels great to be free..unemployed..single..
gonna enjoy to the max~ =p
after moral oni find la~ a permanent job~
well thats all for now~
see ya~!!

Suffocated...

Things have gotten out of line lately..
where shud i start..
well..the problem is the constant feud between my mom n sis
dunno y n how but this time its really messed up
my sister is well..a teenager..rebellious as ever..
she started hangin out wit her friends..n then wanted to go out until late at nite
my mom din lik tht idea and wanted to restrict her..
n tht started the feud..
lets jz say several words include..nt havin freedom..nt being loved..
until nw its truely has been a headache..
they r nt speakin anymore..
n jz the night b4 me n my sis had an argument
well..i felt she shud b more lik any other girl...
obey the rules..respect parents..n clean up after herself..
then we started quarrelling and nw cold war..
haihh..n to think i even sided her at 1st..
talked to my mom n backed her up..
bt all she wants is more n more..
giv up d la..
go wit ur friends then..since they love u so much...
besides tht my brother n i no longer speak..
indecent fellow..scold ppl n dun even wan to apologize..
it feels horrible..
to be stuck in such a situation..
kinda wish for a long vacation..away frm ppl..
hmmm...
i've officially given up..
dun push ur problems to me anymore..
i wanna be free..happy..full of enthusiasm
feels good to let it out..
yeahh~